Lost In Her Memory
09.08.06 (3:07 pm) [edit]As she laid in the field ... .gazing up at the stars ... feeling so empty ... heart torn from her chest ... she couldn't help but let the tears roll down her cheek ... thinking of him ... how he'd never return ... lost in her memory ... unable to escape ...
... unable to move ... force herself to walk away ... she lays there in the field ... feeling cold from the wind ... cold from the hatred ....and the pain of losing him ... how could she let this happen ... even though its not her fault ... she blames herself for being weak ... and not standing up against him ... now he's lost in her memory ... unable to escape ....
... If she just said no ... he'd be there with her ... laying in that field ... holding her ever so tight ... but instead he's gone ... packed his bags after the fight .... to join another fight ... one he'd never escape ... so she lays there still ... thinking of him ... blaming herself ... unable to walk away ... from the memory of him ... is unable to escape ....
... She lays in the field ... looking to the left ... reading the enscripten on his tomb ... "here lies John Doe ... husband, father, friend... Hero"
Relationships
09.06.06 (10:13 pm) [edit]Relationships ... Ugh .... even that word these days makes me wanna poke my eye with a pen ... or maybe a pencil .... freshly sharpened though ... i have recently broke up with my girlfriend ... and i know i mostly just bitch and complained about this since my return to tblog ... but i have to address the whole relationship thing ... as my cousin just broke up his bestfriend and his girfrlend ... now don't get me wrong .. you're thinking "wow what an ass" ... but the friend was just using his girlfriend for one thing ... i think you can guess it ...
.... Now my cousin also liked this girl .. so yes there wasan alternative motive ... but either way he broke them up .. now he found out this girl has dumped a diffirent guy to date his bestfriend (yes the one my cousin made her dump) ... see the cycle .. so he doesn't wanna date her no more ... Relationships ...
... On the flip side with my own life ... again back to the ex-girlfriend ... she has this thing for a guy i know ... now i don't really remember knowing this guy .. but he knows me ... says i kicked ass to party with ... and i do ... i mean i really do kickass ... but anyways ... enough about how kickass i am ... so of course everyone who knows me and knows him had to call me to tell me ...now i don't care if she has feelings for another guy ... i mean its been 3 weeks already since we broke up ... yah we dated for a year .. but i mean she's more then happy to move on .. thats what breaking up means ...
... Truthfully ... yah it sort of got to me when i found out ... i still love this girl ... so that bugged me ... but i was happy she moved on ... really happy in that sense ... what can i say ... i'm a nice guy that way ... BUT ... she lied to me ... denied it all ... but yet on her blog she says she misses him ... she's thinking of him ... and she wants him but doesnt know if he wants her ... why the lie ... me and her are only friends now ... i don't care if she moves on or not ...
... Hate relationships right now ... anyways .. after we fought about the lieing going on she posted this on her blog .. so i figured i'd post it back .... i thought it was kickass (kind of like me) ...
Boy: I saw her today
Girl: I saw him today
Boy: It seems like its been forever
Girl: I wonder if he still cares
Boy: She looks better then before
Girl: I couldn’t stop staring at him
Boy: I asked her how things were going
Girl: I asked about his new girlfriend
Boy: I’d choose her over any girl im with
Girl: He’s probably really happy right now
Boy: I couldn’t look at her without starting to cry
Girl: He couldn’t even look at me
Boy: I told her i miss her
Girl: He doesn’t mean it
Boy: I meant it
Girl: He didn’t mean it
Boy: I love her
Girl: He loves his new girlfriend
Boy: I held her for the last time
Girl: He gave me a friendly hug
Boy: Then I went home and cried
Girl: Then I went home and cried
Boy: I lost her
Girl: I love him
Awkward Moment
09.05.06 (2:48 pm) [edit]I firgured this would be a great topic for today ... everyone has one of these once in there life time ... me more the ever ...
... So we hit up the strippers lastnight ... i seem to find myself there at least once a week (keep getting limo packages ... it pays to have stripper friends) .... but anyways ... so of course here on mondays they always showcase a new girl .... a first timer ... which is always cool ... except yesterday ....
... yesterdays new girl was an ex girlfriends sister ... now don't get me wrong ... this girl is hot ... always was ... dated her sister back in high school ... so as she comes to the part of the stage where i'm sitting .. she looks at me ... mouth drops ... gives me an awkward wave . .. well of course ... i waved back .. jumped outta me seat ... and me being the biggest prick around ... went to where you book your lap dance ... i had to ... every guy reading this will understand if an ex girlfriends sister is a stripper ... you gotta get a lap dance ... so 5 minutes before her set is done ... they take me to the private room ... she walks ... trhough the whole dance ... nothing was said ... she didn't even make eye contact ... i thought it was funny ... she didn't ... till we hit the bar and had some drinks ... then she got used to the whole idea of everything that happend ....
.... i love stippers ...
Return of an Oldie...
08.20.06 (11:54 pm) [edit]Guess Who's Back
Me you idiot!
Anyways now that we got through that ... thought i'd make my return after a year(?) maybe two anyone still around from back then ... April, ari (i know i butchered your name)ragged, krazie, craig .. and i know i'm missing to ask about someone important .. i think...anyways ... folks you still around then you gotta message me ... here's an update on how life has been in this boring shit hole the last (or two . i can't remember) Well as you know(i think only april really knows) .. me and Cate broke up sometime augest 05 ... now for you who don't know ... love of my life ... but life went on ... got a new job .. same old boring shit, for a new employer ... even fell in love again ... dated this girl(lisa) for a year ... well ok ... a year on the 26th of this month ... i know April you're excited for me ... but we broke up saturday ... and to think only a week short of a year ... .... so that brings me here ....
see told you life was boring on my side of the world ... but what really brought me here was some old posts ... went through them reading them .. about the good times we all had here ... the good times i had with Cate here ... joking with April .. and most of all who could forget the greatest superhero duo this site has ever seen ... ... Along with all this though ... Cate's blog ... her old posts ... and ones she wrote a few months ago ...
anyways .. enough with boring you .. if you wanna know just pm me ... ... till the next post though ... keep the fan club going ... you all know you wanna!
Fan Club!?
02.27.05 (8:37 pm) [edit]It has been brought to my attention recently that I have a following ... a fan club ... Minions (now to get them to do my bidding) ...
... Anyways ... who would've thunk it? -- really ... a fan club for me -- I would just like to take this time to find out who is a member of the "Rawk Fanclub" ... so i can point and laugh at how pathetic they are for worshipping me ... and not someone cooler like that strange guy who lives across the street from me -- now he kicks ass ...
... Now away with you Minions -- go do my bidding and bring down the evil empire that is coca cola -- and bring me back a pepsi well you're out!
Looking For A Miracle
02.22.05 (5:46 pm) [edit]Fitted with tubes, to help her breathe ... fast asleep in a place so fimilar ... a hospital thats become home ... nurses that have become family ... doctors that have become heroes ....
... Fast asleep ... dreams of home filling her mind ... wishing to breathe on her own ...wishing to go to a home she's never seen before ...
... Not having any friends ... 'cept the ones that check in and out ... loneliness fills the air at night ... as the lights go out ... no one to hold her hand ... as she drifts off into the night ...
... Fitted with tubes, to help her breathe ... a child at age 4 ... just looking for a miracle ...
Cate & Me
02.18.05 (6:10 pm) [edit][i]*This ones for you April -- Since you always keep telling Cate and Me that we're so Adorable together*[/i]
[image]Rawk_385531490.jpg[/image]
Pieces From A Puzzle
02.17.05 (7:11 pm) [edit]We fell in love at first sight ... and everything went right ... nothing could go wrong ... or split us apart ... You thought i was the one, that was made for you ... the boy in your dreams riding upon the white horse ...
... They thought we wouldn't last ... thought we didn't belong ... the skater boy with no dreams, going through life with just a guitar in his hand ... the uptown girl with goals in her life ... like pieces from two different puzzles ...
... We proved them wrong ... fighting through the year ... pushing through the people ... who said we didn't belong ... putting back the pieces .. that fell apart from this puzzle ...
... We made them believe ... that this puzzle fit ... finding all the pieces ... and putting it back together ...
Jesus Was A Jedi
02.16.05 (8:12 pm) [edit][i]*Note -- This will offend alot of Christians and Starwars fans ... unless you're a Christian Starwars fan ... then you won't be offend, but will agree that i'm going to hell for writing this*[/i]
So I'm sitting around, being bored ... but Rawk at the same time ... looking at my pin up picture of Irishred *sigh* ... when i decided to watch Starwars (episode 6 again) ... anyways ... remembering back when i was watching episode 1 i remember something -- when Qui-Gon Jinn was talking to Anakin's mom ... they talk about Midichlorians .. and how Anakin was created through this ... and didn't have a father ... thats when it hit .. Jesus was a Jedi ... he never had a father ...
... And the miracles Jesus performed ... think about it ... it wasn't miracles ... it was the Force ... it makes perfect sense when you look at it through the eyes of a lunatic (yes my eyes) ... tell me i'm wrong people ... or that i'm going hell (but at least i'll be going to hell RIGHT!)
Drinking You Away
02.12.05 (8:12 pm) [edit]You said you'd stay ... you wouldn't go out ... but you left me at home ... well you went to drink me away ... you said you'd be here ... after the troubles we've had ... but you left me here ... well you drink me away ...
... Things have changed ... and love has failed ... so i went out ... but you didn't care ... all you could do is drink me away ... you me offered a hug ... and i said no ... i've had enough ... now i'm drinking you away ...
... You never said bye ... or tryed to call ... i sat up all night waiting for you ... but you never cared ... as you drank me away ... partyed with friends ... flirted with the boys ...
... You thought i stayed home ... where i could do no harm ... but i called some friends ... to help drink you away ... met a girl ... who helped heal the scars ...
... So i'm done ... drinking you away ...
Pictures -- Please Keep Your Pants On Everyone --
02.12.05 (6:12 pm) [edit]Here's some pictures ... only for a few minutes before i delete the post .. they're all old ... some of you might have seen some of them .. if not ... well thats good for you ... if you have ... yah you spend to much time on my blog ... and not enough comment leaving for you ...
Looking Fat In This
Soccer -- its what happens when no hockey
Next Ex-Girlfriend
02.11.05 (11:58 am) [edit]I don't want the fairy tale ... don't want this love and romance ... and i don't want the girl from hell ... i don't wanna waste my time .. and i don't want no valentine ... just want my next ex-girlfriend ...
... I don't want to be your love ... don't wanna be your mistake ... i don't want this ache and pain ... don't wanna waste your time ... just want my next ex-girlfriend ...
... I don't wanna be by your side ... i don't wanna hear your voice ... i don't want this hate and anger ... don't wanna waste our time ... Just want my next ex-girlfriend ...
How Do I?
02.10.05 (8:52 pm) [edit]How do i stop this feeling that i've had ... like something is wrong ... like you and me don't belong ... its been in my head ... eating at my brain ...
... Fucking with my heart ... stomping on my soul ... how do i erase it ... make it go away ...
... How do i stop the emotions that i've had ... like something doesn't belong ... like you and me aren't right ... its messing with my mind ... scrambling my brain ...
... Screwing with my heart ... torturing my soul ... how do i delete it ... should i drink it all away ...
... How do i stop this thought in my mind ... like something ain't right ... like you went behind my back ... messed around with him ... well fucking with my heart ...
In The Dark
02.09.05 (9:25 pm) [edit]He left a note ... as he walked out the door ... didn't look back ... or kiss her goodbye ...
... Days before ... she broke his heart ... did his bestfriend ... and broke his trust ... never told him what happened ... never let him catch on ... left him in the dark ... playing with his heart ...
... He left a note ... found what she did ... didn't look back ... or say goodbye ...
... She never said sorry ... denying the truth ... she broke out in tears ... screaming at him ... but he already knew ... it was a game she was playing ... so he left her in dark ...
... For playing with his Heart ...
Tortured Soul
02.08.05 (10:22 pm) [edit][i]*Note -- Got the idea for this from [b][i][u]LastPoeticKiss[/ u][/i][/b] -- Gotta give her the proper props ... so everyone check her out ... awesome poems and such*[/i]
[b]Tortured Soul[/b]
Alone in his room ... closed off from the world ... music in the air ... and loneliness on his mind ... ballads of love, fill the room ... as disppear fills his mind ... a tortured soul ...left alone in the dark ...
... Stuck in a daze ... his thoughts lost in a maze ... as ballads of broken hearts, fill the room ... his heart blackened ... by the thoughts of her ... the thoughts of him ... the thoughts of them ...
... Eyes full of pain ... he can still feel the softness of her hair ... falling on his face ... but it was all just a waste ... as ballads of lost love, fill the room ... his mind fills with hate ... a tortured soul ... left alone in this world ...
... In the dark ... heart's full of rage ... his tortured soul, Just screaming to get out ...
On That Day
02.07.05 (10:11 pm) [edit]You wanted to spend time ... to be close to me ... you didn't want to let me go ... but you gave it all up ... ditched me for your friends ... and left me alone ... you had a blast ... as i sat in my room ... thinking of you ... and the boys all around ...
... You wanted my trust ... for me not to worry ... but you broke it before ... left a hole in my heart ... not sure what to do as i'm sitting in my room ... worrying about you ... and the drinking you do ... with the boys all around ...
... You wanted to spend time ... to be close to me ... but i left you for my friends ... as you did to me ... that week you ditched me for you friends ... and had a blast ... as i sat at home .. worrying about you ... and the drinking you'd do ...
... On that day you broke my trust ... left a hole in my heart ... and went home with him ... because you drank to much ...
Pushed Around
02.07.05 (4:37 pm) [edit]They called me a loser ... a geek back in high school ... said i'd never get a girl ... or make it big in this world ... they pushed me around ... calling me names ... i almost broke down ... and believed in there words ...
... Almost quit ... and gave up this life ... over some words ... and the black eyes i got ... they pushed me around ... calling me names ... called me a loser ... a nobody in this world ... wasn't popular ... or cool at the least ...
... Never got the girl ... or made the football team ... ate lunch alone ... on the washroom floor ... they pushed me around ... calling me names ... i almost gave up ... and believed in there words ... had no friends ... no one to talk to ...
... Alone in this world ... I walked the halls ... a loser in highschool ... with no friends to behind me ... but i never gave up ... i never quit ... no matter how much pushing .. or name calling there was ... cuz now that its all done ...
... I got the girl ... the one from highschool ... made it big in life ... and changed the world ... no more being pushed ... name calling's all gone ... just never give up ... and believe in there words ...
Walked Out
02.03.05 (10:55 pm) [edit]Sitting up ...she rubs her eyes ... the sun coming in through the window ... shining on her face ... she looks to her left ... looking for her prince ... only to find an empty space ... like the one left in her heart ... the day he walked out of her life ...
... She told him how much she loved him ... but all he could do was nod ... not knowning what he felt for her ... he walked out of her life ...
... Walking to the kitchen ... she trips over the bear ... the one he got her the first year they dated ... back on valentines day ... all she could do is look at the bear ... as it lays there on the floor ... with the masscara stain ... from that night she cryed ... when he walked out of her life ...
... She told him how she wanted to spend eternity with him ... but he all he could do is nod .... not knowing what he felt for her ... he walked out of her life ...
... drinking her coffee ... looking out the window ... the sunshining in on her face once more ... she can't get him out of her mind ... walking up the path ... he's thinking of that girl .. the one he let go .. the one he knows he now loves ...
... He hesitates and looks at the sky ... but continues up the path .. stops at a door ... fear runs through his body ... but he rings the bell ... she answers the door ... to find him standing there ..
.... the guy who walked out of her life ...
Bruises
02.01.05 (9:59 am) [edit]The words came out ... and the fists were flying ... she hit him good ... in her fit of rage ... all he could do is sit there and take it ... not raising a hand ... not stooping that low ...
... The bruises would heal ... and he knew that ... its why he never stooped that low ... never hit her back ... nor the thought crossed his mind ... not wanting to become a monster ... not wanting to become his father ...
... All she could do .. is scream at him ... till her rage got loose ... and she hit him hard ... not able to control ... what she's become ... alittle arguement that got out of hand ... and now things were done that can't be taken back ...
... The bruises will heal ... but the scars will set ... for what was love ... will now probably die ...
Meant To Be
01.23.05 (10:47 pm) [edit]They fell in love ... and they fell fast ... neither looked back ... or tryed to run ... Meant to be is what they were ... till that day when time stopped ...
... The world stopped spinning ... and there love came to a hault ... everything crashed down ... there world collapsed ... what once was meant to be ... turned into what's been ...
... On that day ... her rose turned black ... the one she got ... when he asked her out ... a symbol of his undying love ... as he told her they were meant to be ... till that day when time stopped ...
... The world stopped spinning ... and there hatred grew ... they couldn't stand eachother ... to talk to eachother ... to listen to eachother ... to be with the other ...
... For what was meant to be .. turned into what was ... on that day ... when time stopped ...
You & Me
01.18.05 (7:47 am) [edit]They told us we wouldn't last .... they said we'd crumble after a month ... they made us believe we weren't meant to be ... but You and Me made it this far ...
... We fought and they told you to leave me ... they said you were to good for me ... but you stayed with me ... you never believed them ... and now You and Me have made it this far ...
... They stopped saying we wouldn't last ... they all finally believe us ... and as i placed that ring on your finger ... we both believed ... that You and Me were meant to be ...
... All there doubt have disappeared ... as we are engaged ... they now see i'm right for you .. and you for me ... and now You and Me have made it this far ...
... never planning to stop ...
Punk Rawk Princess
01.14.05 (4:42 pm) [edit]Slamming to my guitar ... with the band in the garage ... singing the song ... i wrote for a girl i've never met ... a girl i see everyday ... a girl i love from a far ... my punk rawk princess ... hoping to be her garage band king ...
... She walks by everyday ... and flashes me a smile ... always to shy to hi to her ... all i can do is stare ... this crush i have ... so pure and innocent ... she can be my punk rawk princess ... and i will be her garage band king ...
... As i walk through the halls ... at our local highschool ... i bump into her ... faith has finally stepped in ... as i look her ... i can only blush .. at that smile she has ... so perfect ... like only a punk rawk princess could have ...
... I pick up her books ... we stand there and talk ... she tells me her name ... and things go from there ... i've finally got my punk rawk princess ...
... And she's made me her garage band king ...
A Hero
01.10.05 (8:29 pm) [edit]The wind pushes through the tall grass ... as he drops to his knees ... the grave infront of him ... where once stood his father ... now lays a hero ...
... Fighting for what was right ... for what he believed in ... his father lost his life ... never to see his son again ... dying a hero ... to his son ... to his country ... but now ... he lays here ...
... His father being honored in his hometown ... as a war hero ... he will never forget the memory of his father ... and the sacarifice he made... he will never forget what his father did for his country ... as he lays here now ...
... Dying proud ... and a hero to the country ... his father lays here now ... a hero to his son ...
Rose Red
01.09.05 (6:07 pm) [edit]Your lips are the color of rose red ... looking deadly ... yet captivating ...putting my body into internal extasy ... and my soul into internal bliss ...
... Your lips taste so good ... as they press against mine ... colored rose red ... i can't help but to remember it ... have it play through my mind ... your kiss captured my heart ... and put into internal happiness ...
... Your lips smell so good ... flavored with rose red ... i never want to let them go ... for the flavor captures my soul ...
... And makes me feel young ... never dying ... like our eternal love ... through the ages of time ...
Website
01.07.05 (1:25 pm) [edit]Most of you will remember the "Through Tainted Eyes" website that was up last year ... this site included poems and short stories written by a select few ... they were all Tblog users ... This site has since closed though ... as many of those passed on to bigger and better things ... and left tblog ...
... Well we're doing it up again ... with some fresh new faces ... although a few of the select site vetrens might return ... i will be looking for new poets and short story writers ... if you think you have what i'm looking for... please drop me a Private Message ...
... To get an idea of what this is all about .. here is a link to the old site ... although the layout will be diffirent .. and the site will have a new name and look ... the idea is the same ...
www.taintedeyes.tk
If you happen to get a message from me .. without you private messaging me ... its cuz i really liked your stuff .. and think you should be a part of this .. you have all the right to turn me down though ...
... Any further questions just Private message me and i'll get back to you asap ... thanks everyone!
The site will be going up as soon as i get enough people ... which should be in the coming week ...
